miami

Come July, my friend and I will be Miami bound for three short days. We're weighing options for accommodations - college friends, CouchSurfing or ... well, have a look. This email from Brad is too good not to share. I couldn't stop laughing.

I found a really cheap hotel that we can stay at in central Miami if need be. It's a Days Inn. Here are the reviews online. Tell me what you think.

REVIEW ONE: This place isn't bad if you're a junkie. In fact, there are lots of available pawn shops in the area as well as several dealers that can hook you up without a problem. Watch out for police jump out crews and try not to worry about the roaches, they're small, but the big ones might make the appearance if you leave something sweet out! Enjoy yourself, relax and try to score some good dope if that's what you're looking for! Again, watch out though, the Dade County cops are merciless!!

REVIEW TWO: dont hesitate to stop and admire the concrete floors in the hallway and fresh blood stains ingrained within.

REVIEW THREE: I have personally stayed at this hotel many times, and being a white boy, I must say that it is NOT for the faint of heart! Expect to bring at least a Glock 9mm and a sawed-off shotgun to make it through for at least one night. For a longer stay you might want to stock up on ammo! Besides the security risk, I must say that they have the best selection of HOES in the entire MIA-FLA area! If you are into "punks" they have that too - but I don't "swing" that way. Have fun and ALWAYS watch 'yo back!

REVIEW FOUR: This is a crack whore infested hell hole. If not for the beautiful receptionist I would have left. I swear I heard shots being fired as I left. Stay away.

REVIEW FIVE: I went there but had to cancil my reservation. City Inn is haven for all prostitutes and homeless people in North Miami beach area.‎